They actually didn’t pull any punches.

In a reside present on Netflix that lasted over three hours, a roast of Tom Brady didn’t spare any jokes on the expense of the seven-time Tremendous Bowl winner. Every little thing from his divorce from Gisele Bündchen, Spygate, Deflategate and Brady’s relationship with Alex Guerrero have been on the desk.

“Before I got to the New England Patriots, we heard about Spygate. Then after I left, we heard about Deflategate,” Randy Moss stated. “So I only got one question for you, Tom: ’Why the f— didn’t we cheat when I was there?! I wanted to cheat, too. My kids always ask me, ‘Daddy, why does everyone have a ring but you?’ You know how hard it is to look your kids in the eyes and say, ‘They just don’t trust me enough to cheat’?”

A wide selection of former teammates and comedians spent a couple of hours buying and selling barbs with one another — however particularly Brady.

“A lot of people assume I have a lot of animosity toward Tom Brady,” Drew Bledsoe joked. “So I’m here tonight in front of millions of people to tell you — they’re correct.”

After which, towards the top of the evening, Bill Belichick, the uber-serious, seldom-joking former head coach of the Patriots, crushed with a 10-minute set.

“People have said it — Tom and I butted heads a lot,” Belichick stated, establishing his joke. “And in a way that was true. But it was hard to butt heads with Tom — because he was so far up Alex Guerrero’s ass.”

At first, Brady sat in good spirits and tried to chuckle off the relentless (and sometimes ruthless) jokes — even when there have been some uncomfortable moments. Listed here are a few of the highlights from the roast.

Jokes from Brady’s former teammates (and Belichick)

Moss: “Even though we didn’t win it all, I still got everything that I wanted because I got to play with the greatest quarterback that ever lived. And for three years — it was a short time — we scared the entire National Football League. Tom, you’re still my quarterback — even though you did not want me to be your accomplice.”

Bledsoe: “There were rumors that coach (Bill) Belichick was going to be here tonight. Turns out he has some time on his hands. At least when I got fired, somebody else wanted me.”

Belichick: “I’m honored to be here at the roast of Tom Brady on Netflix. Not to be confused with the roast of Bill Belichick on the 10-part Apple-TV series.”

Julian Edelman: “Alex Guerrero is the snake oil salesman that turned Tom into a complete weirdo.”

Rob Gronkowski on the similarities between Brady and Belichick: “You’re both hard asses that hate fun. You both live and breathe football. Neither of you are married anymore. You’re both even divorced from football — and both of you take full credit for the dynasty.”


Howe: It was by no means Bill Belichick or Tom Brady: They carried the Pats to glory collectively

Finest one-liners from the comedians

Comic Jeff Ross: “Tom was drafted 199th in the NFL draft. He sat there for days waiting and waiting and was finally picked in the sixth round when Bill Belichick’s dog stepped on the keyboard by accident.”

Nikki Glaser: “You have seven rings — well, eight now that Giselle gave hers back.”

Some uncomfortable moments

It wasn’t all simply laughs. It appeared Brady realized fairly shortly that this wasn’t going to be some light-hearted, good-natured ribbing. That began with Kevin Hart’s opening monologue, which went heavy on jokes about Bündchen and her reported new boyfriend, who has a background in jiu-jitsu.

However probably the most awkward second might have been after Ross made a joke about Robert Kraft and massages. Afterward, Brady stood up from his seat and appeared to say to Ross, “Don’t say that s— again.”

Belichick’s roast

The perfect set of the evening in all probability goes to Glaser, although Belichick’s bit was nice and hit on everybody from comedians (joking that Hart can’t say no to a possibility) to Danny Amendola’s profession highlights (that’s “what Randy would call a decent first half”) to, in fact, Brady (“Really, Tom, why are all these people so hard on you? Do you miss me?” Belichick joked.)

With Belichick again within the fold, he opened himself as much as ribbing, together with from Edelman, who famous that Belichick for a number of years used to say in group conferences that gamers at Foxboro Excessive Faculty might’ve performed what the Patriots tousled.

“(Now) Foxboro High is the only job offer you have,” Edelman stated. “… Do your job? More like need a job, coach.”

Robert Kraft’s quips

With the rift between Kraft and Belichick well-known, the Pats proprietor figured he’d shortly tackle it when he obtained the mic whereas Belichick was seated subsequent to Edelman on stage.

“Like many family reunions, there’s some people here I’m desperately trying to avoid — coach Belichick, good to see you,” Kraft joked.

Then he turned towards Brady’s impending buy of a share of the Las Vegas Raiders.

“Tom, good luck buying the Raiders,” he stated. “They did your favorite thing for you already — they got rid of Jimmy Garoppolo.”

And in a flip that may’ve been almost unimaginable to foresee (and on the urging of Hart), Kraft and Belichick took a shot collectively whereas Kraft praised Belichick as the best coach of all time.

How did Brady take the roasting?

Lastly, on the finish of a protracted evening with some brutal jokes, Brady cracked a couple of jokes of his personal whereas displaying a cocky model of himself becoming of a roast.

He stated that Gronkowski was an ideal tight finish for the Patriots —“Although the bar for Patriots tight ends was pretty low back then.” He joked that the NFL might’ve saved the $20 million it spent on Deflategate “and I would’ve just told you I f—-ing did it.” And Brady added that he’s making an attempt to purchase a share of the Raiders as a result of, “I’m tired of owning just the Colts and the Bills.”

On the finish, Brady turned towards Belichick, the coach with whom he’s had a turbulent relationship.

“I’ve been out of the game for a minute, so I’m curious,” Brady stated, “how many Super Bowls have you won since I left? … When I go to the Indy 500, I don’t ask, ‘Hey, who gassed up your car.’”

Required studying

(Photograph: Michael Tran / AFP through Getty Photos)